One of the longest challenges I have faced thus far has been my weight management and while it took a long time to find my path, it has proven to be my most successful journey. It has been the pivotal shift I needed to help realign my inner monologue and find a sustainable and manageable way to keep going and maintain a healthy lifestyle.
Looking back there were three key behaviours/thoughts I needed to come to terms with and accept:
- Mental Health Impacts Physical Health and vice versa.
The more I didn’t address my feelings, emotions, inner thoughts, the more challenging it became to achieve some of the tasks I need to manage weight, for example sleep and stress reduction. The more I didn’t pause to reflect on how my health diagnoses were impacting my beliefs, dreams the more difficult it was to manage my emotions, inner thoughts and stress. It was a vicious cycle.
- Your inner monologue is manageable and can be reprogrammed.
Whether I realized it or not my inner monologue had become a very loud and abrasive critic and was impeding me from seeing my way forward. It kept me in a stage of denial, anger, fear, sadness and depression. I no longer had self-confidence in who I was, what I could do and that I could ever successfully achieve my goal. Every obstacle became a point of giving up and accepting the narrative I had developed and kept me from achieving my goals.
- You cannot control or please everyone else and still be what you need to be for yourself.
Rather than pausing to look at what was happening to me, how I was feeling, what I needed and what was sustainable for me, I focused on what everyone else asked, recommended or wanted. It was ok to try the different options, it was ok to take suggestions, however when it didn’t work I started to pull away and focus on excuses rather than evaluating and reflecting on what wasn’t working. I didn’t identify where I had seen small change, I didn’t highlight the parts that worked, I gave up. In trying to keep peace and ensure everyone was happy I focused on everything else except my processes to achieve my goal and I stopped making time for me.
So how did I find what worked?
Acceptance – while it came from a time of frustration and angst I accepted that I needed help both mental and physical and that I could not solve it without a doctor and therapist. I worked with a doctor for a weight management solution and a therapist for managing self-care.
Self Love – I can be kind, supportive and understanding when others are struggling, so why not for myself? I needed to learn how to show myself grace as I was going through my journey. That meant practicing gratitude, daily affirmations, mindfulness meditation, and learning to show myself compassion when things got difficult.
Support – Leaning on others around me who wanted to help me succeed was the final part of the growth. Identifying the professionals to support me and guide me in my mental and physical health journey. My kids, mom, friends and fiancé who helped me around the house, shared in my successes, encouraged me when the going got tough, helped me remember what I had done so far when I stumbled.
The biggest lesson I took away from all of this. Only I can make this change, I had to want to change for myself, see how it aligns with who I identify as, and how it supports my values and dreams. I had support, I had resources, I had my cheerleaders, so now what do I do? I had to find something that was a complement to who I was, easy to follow and manage, that wouldn’t turn into a difficult task if away on vacation or out to dinner with friends. I needed to find a sustainable solution that wasn’t a diet but a change in my lifestyle, an adoption of new habits and healthy choices to sustain a healthy weight and lifestyle ongoing.
So, if you are struggling, pause and take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself some questions:
- Who are you and what motivates you?
- What is causing you the most difficulty?
- What tools, resources or people are available to help you?
- Is what you are doing sustainable and going to be easy to maintain if you look at your daily routines and obligations?
Weight management is more than diet and exercise it is a lifestyle. It incorporates self-care, rest, mind, body and spirit. If the plan is to do it once go back to old habits the struggle will likely repeat itself. Decide to adopt a lifestyle change and address both mental and physical health care to support you in your journey to be successful.
If you would like to hear more about my journey starting over, check out Episode 3 of Fifties Unscripted: Embracing my Second Act now streaming on YouTube. You can also connect with me on instagram @fiftiesunscripted or online at www.fiftiesunscripted.com!
Wishing you a day filled with love, happiness and self-care!
Shelley
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